Three Drugs and a Birthday

On Monday we hung out around the house, different people came over to help us with some cleaning and watching the kids, even making dinner. 

Mid-day, Kylie went to pick up Brandi, one of our good friends from Arizona. We lived in the same neighborhood and went to the same ward at church. Brandi and her family are kids of the same age as ours. Brandi introduced me to the potential to work from home. I remember thinking it was a sham haha. But she was doing a job helping people with Salesforce and making good money. 

After her encouragement, I studied learned this new field, and got certified. I got a job working from home. It has allowed for flexibility, and sometimes I wonder if I felt impressed and encouraged by Brandi and others to get into this field so I could have much flexibility during this and other challenging time periods. We are so grateful for the job that allows me to be home and help out. 

On Tuesday Kylie went to Chemo with Brandi. Her neutrophils were great and her blood oxygen levels were great. Her platelets were low. Platelets clot the blood. She may not do chemo next week if they are lower because if she were to get cut or something, she would have a hard time stopping the bleeding. 

Kylie got the 3 big Chemo drugs. On top of the little other drugs like Benadryl.

On Wednesday I had a lot of work and Kylie rested a lot. Brandi did everything else from cooking to taking care of the kids to helping with cleaning stuff. 

Thankfully this is Kylies last time doing the three chemo drugs. WHOOT!!! CLICK HERE TO CELEBRATE! She only has two more regular chemo weeks left until she begins what the Nurses call the Red Devil. The liquid is red and it wipes people out. Even more than the 3 drugs do. She will have 4 of those spread apart every 3 weeks. 

On Thursday morning Kylie texted and said she felt like death, meaning she felt terrible. Thursdays typically are her hardest days going through this. This was also the day she was going to have PET scan.

After resting for the day Kylie felt okay to go to Greenville. She fasted to prepare for her pet scan and then at 12, she got a notification that they had to reschedule her scan because the cameras were not working. That’s a bummer but it’s okay. 

We went to Greenville anyway for a birthday dinner for me and one of our friends whose birthday is Jan. 30th. We went to this place called the Yard House. Kylie got Fish and Chips, I had a great burger and then the restaurant celebrated our birthdays with a delicious slice of Brookie Cake.  

Friday was my Birthday. I woke up to a cool picture of a 13-layer cake that Emmie drew for me. She also wrote me a sweet note wishing me a Happy Birthday. I got some tasks done with the kids, opened some presents, and then played with them. Emmie got a kite, a good kite, not a dollar store kite. I was flying it super high, higher than our 2 story house. Our backyard is windy most days because we are up on a hill. The kite was doing great, then Willie wanted to try so I handed him the handle and helped him grab it with two hands. It didn’t even cross my mind that it may be too powerful for him, even though something like this happened when Emmie was 2 years old. 

3 years ago we flew a kite with Emmie in Cheyenne Wyoming. We were flying kites with my parents and sister, the wind was pretty strong and Emmie wanted to try. So we handed her the handle, she held on with all her might and then she started running. We thought she was running, but it was the kite pulling her along haha. 

Willie grabbed the kite handle and looked up at the kite, I looked up as well. A few seconds later I noticed the kite handle floating above the ground. It had slipped out of baby Willies hands. I chased after it as the Kite flew down the street, finally landing in someone’s backyard. The kids and I went to get it. What a fun time. 

Later we went to a yummy Mexican Restaurant. Papas and Beer. It hit the spot for Kylie so that was good. We all loved it and they gave me the coolest Birthday treat experience I have had at a restaurant. 

My best gift this year though is Kylie and that she is here, alive and well, all things considered. She is strong and will make it through. That’s something I love about Kylie. She always has a positive outlook. She is so optimistic. Things will work out. They always do. 

A big blessing this week is that Kylie received two grants. Last month I applied for two grants to help with gas and other medical-related needs. One from Susan G Komen and one from another center. We were not expecting to get any of them because they get distributed quickly but she did. If you need a grant, apply, you never know what will happen. If you’ve ever donated to any charities, know that (if they are reputable) they go to regular people just like us.

Through this experience, I have been learning to let go of the expectations I have.  

For example, last week, I had expectations that I would work at certain times last week and they were not met. I got frustrated. My thoughts surrounding the circumstance is what made me feel frustrated. 

I’m learning that It’s important to set expectations but to be bendable or flexible with them. And it’s okay if expectations are not met, especially if the control of them is out of our control. I could not control some of the times when I would work last week because Kylie had 5 doctor appointments, Willie had a doctor appointment and Kylie’s body isn’t feeling good. This means we are all busy from the people coming to help us out, to me and my work. I was praying about this this week and was told to just let expectations go and be okay with them not being met. I also felt at the same time that even if my plans were derailed, everything would work out and it would all be okay. 

2 years ago I had some high expectations for my 30th birthday. But, I never really spoke these out loud to Kylie and didn’t take into consideration that we had just had a new baby. I thought it was golden, or some color birthday maybe purple lol. And the expectations were not met. Why they were not met was completely out of my control. Did I still have a good day and eat a delicious cake? Yes. Looking back did I get to spend the day with the people that are most important to me? Yes. Do I have regrets about that birthday now? Only that I wish I could go back and tell myself to calm down and relax and enjoy what I do have instead of this stuff I thought I wanted. Kind of like Dudley Dursley in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. He looks at his present pile and then says “How many are there?”. Vernon says “36, counted them myself.” To which Dudley replies, “36, but last year I got 37”, then Petunia says. “When we go out, we are going to buy you two new presents, how’s that pumpkin?… you know the rest of the story! 

I am still learning to let expectations go especially in the realm of things I cannot control. Do we need to set goals and have expectations for us to reach them? Certainly. Do we need to remember that things get derailed? Yes. Will everything eventually work out? Yes. 

Especially now, with the Cancer and what the drugs are doing to Kyile, I can’t control any of that but I can let go and let God. Knowing that he is mindful of us and in control. 

Kylie is getting healed, slowly. Little by little. This week her energies were low but her spirits were high. 

#kyliebeatscancer