Merry Christmas

Monday:

This week was a Christmas like no other we have had before. Even with all that is going on, it was still a special time. Kylie’s whole family was here and the festivities were great. We started the week on Monday with some fun family games Kiki came up with. The first thing was decorating some Christmas Cookies for Santa.

Later in the week, we played a fun cup game, a little like Shuffleboard. The player has to stand at one end of the table and slide a ribbon down to a numbered cup hanging off the other end. If you got a ribbon in, you got to flip over another matching numbered cup which was sitting upside down on a counter. Under each cup was a little prize. I spent about 30 minutes trying to get a ribbon in haha. It was so fun to play this game and helped liven the moods of all. 

Later in the week, we made gingerbread houses out of graham crackers and frosting. Kiki got a lot of fun candies to decorate with. We loved watching Emmie and others use their imaginations and create something from nothing. 

With this many people in the house for a week, a lot is going on. To help with everything Kylie made a chore chart for everyone to follow. Mainly dealing with tidying up and a few projects. It was so nice to have everyone pitch in and do the little things. 

Tonight we had a murder mystery party and we all got to dress up. It was fun finding out who was the Christmas killer.

Tuesday:

Merry Christmas Eve. Kylie had Chemo today. 

Every time Kylie gets treated, she has to start with a blood draw. They give the blood to the Vampires who live in the basement… 

They use the blood to check the White Blood Cell count. If it’s too low she will have to miss treatment for the week, delaying the cure. Today we sat in the room where they took her vitals and waited for a decision to be made as the nurse looked over Kylie’s records and then finally grabbed Dr. Stephenson. The Doctor came in and checked her breast and the lymph node in her neck. He said it’s looking good. Then he explained to us that she couldn’t miss treatment yet. He said, “We are like a train that has just left the train station, getting up to speed, chugging along. But we are not there yet where we can just coast.” He also said she could expect a blood transfusion sometime soon to help get the WBC count up. 

Her WBC count was at 0.7 thousand cells per microliter. The normal range for a healthy adult is quite large from 4,000 – 11,000 or so. Kylie was at 2,000 a couple of weeks ago after receiving injections and on Christmas Eve she was at 700. Many parts of the WBC get measured but the key two the DR. looks at are the Platlets (which clot blood and hers were at a good number) and the Neutrophils. When the neutrophils are this low, it is called Neutropenia. Kylie’s were Very low. Which means she is more susceptible to infections, colds, and sickness. You can get neutropenia from other causes and of course, chemotherapy is going to cause this because it kills all cells. Thankfully, next week, she will get more injections to raise the WBC count back up. Who knew we would be getting a degree in biology? 

With that, treatment continued as planned. Even some of the other nurses thought she was not going to get treated today so they did not have her tray with the syringes and needles prepared. They got it all ready to go by the time Kylie sat down in her chemo chair. 

Waiting for the decision to be made on whether or not treatment would happen was a little nerve-wracking for me. We just want Kylie to be healed and to be done as soon as she can, and I don’t want to hear any more bad news. Thankfully we didn’t and hopefully, her body will keep up the WBC so she can do treatment next week before she gets injections. 

We told everyone at our house that they needed to wear masks if they were feeling sick, thankfully no one was at all this week. 

While we were gone, the family worked on some stuff. We have prairie grass in the very back of our property and it was growing pretty long, even in the winter. While we were gone at Chemo today, Bradford mowed it for me. This was a huge help because mowing requires me to be away from the kids and not able to help out. I used to mow with a kid on my lap until we did some research and found out that this is a reason many kids go to the ER from accidents that come from riding a lawn mower. We stopped doing that. When I mow I have to do it by myself which means Kylie has to watch the kids and right now, that’s tricky depending on how she is feeling. She told me she would mow the lawn, pop her headphones in, and listen to her podcasts. I think that will be great once she feels she can do that. 

After we got home from the Doctor I took Willie out to play at the park. I can’t remember why when so many people were home, but we did and we had so much fun. Maybe we had to pick p some groceries or something as well. Being a kid and playing with such happy kids feels so good. I love running around the parks with my kids, laughing and chasing, and just playing. I had the same experience with Emmie last week playing some Santa games she and I made up. I felt very rejuvenated. I am the parent that other people’s kids try to play with haha. Coming up to me and joining in the games I’m playing with my kids. I don’t mind, it’s so fun. Speaking of this, the kids and I went to Costco later in the week. Willie loves it there. We were all wearing Crocs and I had never run in Crocs before but today at Costco, I had to. I had to get Willie before he ran into an Isle and got hit by someone’s cart or something. As I was running to grab him, I yelled to Emmie, “I’m running in Crocs!”. She probably thought, “Duh Dad of course you are”. I got Willie and put him in the cart, everyone was safe. That was fun. 

Later on Christmas Eve, we had a delicious Thai food meal. We usually go out for this meal each year but not today. We decided to have takeout. It was very good. After dinner, we did our yearly tradition of acting out the nativity story. Little Tommy was Jesus and was happy to lay in a soft fluffy bed. Willie was asked if he wanted to be a sheep or Joseph and he said “I want to be a Chicken”. Haha. Jordan spent a half hour making a cool beak and chicken hat that Willie promptly took off his face haha. But he did make chicken sounds as the nativity was going on lol. Emmie was Mary and I was Joseph while the rest of the family were wise men, shepherds, and angels. 

It was so good to focus on the reason for Christmas and so fun to see the little acting. And the adults too. I like seeing people act, it’s so fun. 

Wednesday:

Merry Christmas! 

Christmas was so fun today. We woke up and had our yearly tradition of eating biscuits with sausage patties and grape jam. Usually, we eat in our bed on Christmas but Tommy was sleeping in our room so we ate in the loft with all the family. I was hoping we could try and get all 12 of us on our bed haha. 

Next, we went downstairs and made presents. I love Christmas as a parent, probably even more than as a child because I get to see my kids be so excited. I love the joy and the laughter and the instant playing with toys. It is seriously so much fun. I also love having Christmas with my family I married into. They are so fun. It is my favorite thing to have silly funny gifts for people that don’t have any value, they just make us all laugh haha. 

Brad Shaved his Head Bald to match Kylie and show love and support. He is such an amazing Father. I have been amazed by him many times.

Brad and Kristi are so good to us. They have been there in our lives at all the pivotal moments. When we had our first baby, they came and helped us out. When we had a foster boy, they babysat him and Emmie. When Kylie had a miscarriage, we came out of the Dr. office and, after balling our eyes out in the car, drove to Paul’s house to pick up Emmie. Brad came out, sat in the passenger seat, and just held Kylie’s hand. He didn’t say anything and he did not need to. When Willie was born, Kiki flew home from a family reunion to help us out. They let us live at their house after college for 6 months before we got our first house. I can’t count the times I asked Brad to help me with stuff whether that was on the car, the yard, the house, whatever it is, Brad and Kristi are so willing to help. They are very good examples to me of Charity and love. I am so blessed to be a part of this amazing family. 

That is how Christmas day ended, spending time with each other, enjoying company, chatting, playing games, and having fun. 

Thursday:

Each Christmas in our family we give 5 gifts. Want, need, do, read, and wear. This year Kylie got me some Pickleball paddles and balls for my do. I love playing Pickleball. On Boxing Day, we went to the park near us that has about 30 Pickleball courts and played ball with friends and family. It was very fun and good for us to get out and enjoy the sunshine. 

Later in the day, way later, all the boys started building this swing set. We did it in the last hour of the day’s sun because I kept putting it off. It is a little daunting to me, mostly because I want it to be perfect, but I am learning to change that mindset and realize that a B- is okay and better than not doing it at all. We got a bunch of cuts made and then realized we were missing some wood. Plus it was getting dark so we stopped and went inside the house. 

To end the day we played Telestrations. This was a hilarious way to end a great day. 

Friday: 

Kristi, Brad, Zack, and Jordan left at 3 AM this morning to fly back to AZ. Bradford and Megan stayed until their flight left at 5 PM. While they were here, they chatted, played games, and even helped us clean bathrooms and dishes. They are so awesome. They did all this while taking care of their 7-month-old little girl! 

As people leave, the reality of our situation slowly becomes apparent again. When people are here visiting, especially during this Christmas week, it’s almost like I have blinders on and can only see what is directly in front of me. Then as people leave and we get back to just us, they slide away and I see more of life as it truly is. Our life is very very good, and we have a large trial that we are going through. We will get through this, with everyone’s help and especially with the help of Jesus. 

Saturday:

Today we hung around the house, not going out much because it was cold and we wanted to make sure no one got sick. 

When Kylie and I were first dating she told me about her friends. One of them was Maddy Jones. She said that Maddy’s dad was like a 2nd dad to her. This week the Joneses sent us a nice Christmas package with some fun things in it some delicious crazy bread and a few things for Kylie and me. They even sent some recipes of Kylie’s favorite snacks from their house when she was growing up. They are such good people we are very blessed to have them in our lives. 

Sunday:

Today we stayed home from church. Because of her low WBC we did not go to church and instead had sacrament at home. We used some of that cinnamon-crazy bread for the service, and the kids were thrilled! 

Then we played games and I spent a lot of time teaching Emmie how to play Splendor. She loves playing board games and is getting good at them. 

Toda Kylie asked Willie if he wanted a haircut he said “Not like you”. He just wants a trim, he does not want to go bald.

Later in the day I was pondering and I noticed today that I have been in a bit of a depression, which is normal and probably even expected with what’s going on. I’ve got my life coach I’m working with and will be doing some counseling that is offered to cancer patients and families for free. I am very grateful for that. I’ve also been incorporating more exercise as I know this is a powerful antidepressant. It’s more powerful than any drug and benefits you in more ways than one. I also have a trove of people who have said I can call them anytime. I just have to remember to make calls instead of spending time inside my head. 

At the end of the day I was talking to Kylie about this and we both agreed that it is completely understandable and normal. We are going through a life-changing event and will never be the same after this. On top of that, the thing that gets me is all the unknown what-ifs. A few weeks ago I was talking to Kylie’s 2nd Dad and he shared with me some good grounding meditation-like practices to try. I have been incorporating them as well as the things I am learning from my life coach and it is helping me out. I have to remind myself of something I learned in college as I studied Psychology. Having a depression from time to time, even one that lasts 6 months, is completely normal. 

The nice thing is, that even if I am in a depression from time to time, I can still feel joy from time to time. I love this quote “The Joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives.” -Russel M. Nelson

This is why, as a family, we choose to put Jesus Christ as the center of our focus. We talk about God and Christ daily and help our children learn of them. For me, as I focus on Him, I have an underlying sense of peace that permeates my whole body, even if my brain is feeling sad. I still have that peace. That is the message of Christmas.

This has truly been a Christmas to remember. Through it all, we’ve been blessed to be surrounded by family who have shown us incredible love and support. Kylie’s strength, determination, and positive outlook have really made a difference. She is so strong and so brave. I am so grateful for her.

Thanks for reading, we are looking forward to next week. My Mom and little brother are coming to help us out. 

#kyliebeatscancer